Relationship Bliss

Sensual massage is the path to sexual pleasure.

Humans crave touch.

As children we delight in exploring the world with our hands, enjoying the sensation of different temperatures and textures, but also the feelings we get from being held against a parent’s chest, or hugged by a loved one.

This desire to feel safe, loved, and connected to those around us endures throughout our lives, and the art of sensual massage is one of the best ways to experience it in full force with a partner.

Massage can be an incredible erotic experience on its own, or quite possibly the sexiest form of foreplay imaginable. But it can also be a bit intimidating if you’re new to it. Whatever your experience with massage, you’re in the right place.

Sensual massage not only helps you relax and relieves sore muscles; it will also allow you and your partner to tap into each other physically, mentally, and emotionally. We sometimes forget that there is more to the body than just the breasts, penis, and vagina, and sensual massage is one of the best ways for couples to tune in and fully explore each other.

So how do you make the magic happen? Check out the second homeplay assignment in this series or send it to your partner and get ready for time to stand still. It really is that good.

Setting Up

Music is a great way to set the mood, but everyone is different, so choose something that you know your partner will find relaxing and sexy.

Not entirely sure what to play? There are great resources out there for the undecided or unsure:

Songza, Spotify, 8tracks and ichillmusic

Having a playlist will guarantee that you will respect the golden rule of massage:

Always have one part of your body in contact with your partner at all times.

Soft lighting is best, and lighting candles with your partner’s favorite scent is a nice touch. Going topless is recommended, as you can use your torso as part of the massage.

Getting Started

Draw a Bath

Have a warm bubble bath ready when your partner arrives, with wine (or favorite beverage) aired and poured.

The Simmer

It is important that you NOT let them undress themselves.

Kiss every part of exposed skin that you find and do this slowly, with loving intention.

First of all, the most important thing to remember is to TAKE YOUR TIME and fully appreciate their skin, body, and desires. BE SMOOTH AND GENTLE even in your transitions. It is this slow and intentional movement that builds up sexual desire and anticipation.

The Back Massage

If you want to learn from a pro, this video is a great tutorial for a relaxing back massage.

Now, to get down to the more sensual part of the massage:

  • Ask your partner to lay flat on their stomach as you SLOWLY run feathers up and down their bodies. Silk scarves work too.
  • Straddle them as you massage their mid to lower back. Lean in and alternate between light kisses and medium strength strokes with your hands.
  • Put massage oil on your chest and spread the oils on their body with your chest.

Authors Patricia Johnson and Mark Michales also suggest lightly tapping the small of the back with the edge of your hands. This technique will stimulate erotic energy, and according to Michaels and Johnston, the nerve impulses will go straight to the genitals.

Follow these techniques with soft kisses.

Using medium pressure with the whole hand, massage their bum with a circular motion. End with a little teasing, perhaps a feathery touch or a light scratch.

Remember to apply oil!

Stay away from the anal region if you know they don’t like that area. However a soft teasing touch on the perineum (an often ignored erogenous zone of soft smooth skin between the anus and vagina or testicles) is a great warm up.

Sensual Chest Massage

Once you finish the back massage, you can ask them to flip over and slowly give their chest a massage. Avoid the breasts at first: they often get quite a bit of attention.

Once you’ve worked the collarbone, stomach, and upper shoulders, lightly massage the outside of the breasts. Get playful and brush a feather or scarf lightly by the nipple. Keep massaging the outside of the breasts, and then using your thumbs, slowly and gently draw circles around the areola (the darker skin surrounding the nipple).

Tenderly work towards the nipples, alternating between light circles and gentle kissing, licking, or sucking according to your partner’s feedback. Pay attention to your partner’s physical and vocal cues, including moans, and whether or not they are gently pulling away, squirming, or pushing towards you.

With soft hands, slowly drag your hands to their thighs. Massage in a circular motion from the knees to the top of the thigh, slowing down when you get close to the groin area. This is usually a good time to make eye contact and check in.

Move to their other thigh by lightly brushing over their genitals, massage the other leg, and repeat a few times, slowing going back and forth. Tease them for as long as you both can stand.

We bet neither of you will last long ;)

Marie-Claire can be your personal Sex Coach and transcend your sex life and relationships. Learn more here.


Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson

Aroma therapy

Gordon Inkeles: The Art of Sensual Massage