If you’re in a couple or have spent time around other couples, you may have heard of the term “love languages”.
The term was popularized through the relationship guidebook ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Dr. Gary Chapman, and provides couples with a unique insight into themselves and one another. Have you ever experienced moments where you wished your partner could understand how you were feeling? Or just knew what you needed?
That’s the whole idea behind the five love languages -once your partner knows what yours are and vice versa; you start to get a pretty clear picture on what gets them going, and what’s not as important to them.
so, How Do I Figure Out My Love Language?
Well, you start by completing a short quiz that reads like something out of a typical woman’s magazine. It might seem a little cheesy, but the results are pretty extraordinarily accurate. It might be that you resonate with all the love languages; but most of the time there will be a strong attraction to one or two. Check out the five love languages below. You may find, even at first glance, you know exactly which one seems to describe you or your partner best!
PHYSICAL TOUCH
For this love language, physical touch is an absolute necessity for this partner. This isn’t just a sexual touch at all; just simple, loving displays of affection. This includes embracing your partner, holding hands, and frequent contact, such as touching the shoulder or running hands through the partner’s hair. This doesn’t necessarily need to be over the top in terms of public displays, but the sensation of physical touch makes this partner feel secure in love.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
For these people, affirming words provide comfort, security and fulfillment in relationships. These partners need to be complimented; and often! It might seem a little conceited – but it’s much deeper than that. They need verbal feedback from you to feel that they’re satisfying you and that you value them. Hearing “I love you” regularly is so important to them. They might take criticism and negative comments to heart – so be careful with your words with partners that have this love language.
RECEIVING GIFTS
For these partners, receiving tangible gifts is a valuable and loving act to them. This may come across as materialistic on the surface – but this isn’t necessarily true at all! These partners valuable thoughtful gifts. Something inexpensive that is sentimental and thoughtful is far more valuable for this partner to receive than anything with a hefty price tag.
QUALITY TIME
Well, this one is really quite simple! These partners need your undivided attention. These partners differ greatly from the words of affirmation types, in that talk is not so important to them – but action trumps all. Taking part in some of their favorite activities and sharing in that with them is definitely the key to this partner’s heart. They’d be more than happy to do something you love as well – so long as you’re doing it together.
ACTS OF SERVICE
Similar to the quality time love language, acts of service is all about action. For these partners, lending a helping hand in their life will have the deepest meaning to them. Cooking them dinner or helping them out with a difficult task will mean the world to them. Even something as simple as making the bed in the morning is treasured by these partners.
Out of these five love languages, you will have a primary love language that speaks the most deeply to you. Understanding your needs and your partner needs is the key to empowering relationships. Discovering your partner’s love language is a fantastic method to gaining that insight and deepening your intimacy and connection.